Bereavement

Bereave, means an individual who lost a relationship thru death (of a deceased loved ones)
Bereavement is the reaction to the loss of a close relationship.
Grief is the emotional response caused by a loss including pain, distress, and physical and emotional suffering.

I understand that death of a loved one can cause extremely strong and intense emotional distress. I have went thru it and seen it for a few times.

I would like to bring up the topic of normal and abnormal grief.

The normal grief is divided into a few categories:

1) Denial
Shock, numbness, deny towards the death of the loved ones.
The bereave will be yearning for the deceased, anxious about the future and have the feeling of emptiness living without the decease.

2) Searching and Recalling
Having visual and auditory hallucination (幻觉) of the deceased person.
Recall and replay memory of the relationship, specific events and the cause of death. Often followed by being regret of unfinished or missed opportunities.

3) Blaming
Anger and blame of the deceased, God, the professional caregivers

4) Depression
Feeling of despair and sadness, appetite and sleep disturbances, chest tightness, agitation, exhaustion.
Withdrawal from social activities


Usually the above reaction will be intensified or precipitated by the remains of the deceased.
They may feel fine for some period however, the grief will be intense at certain time too

Over months of time (usually 6 months), most people would be able to get rid of these symptoms. Which they will able to remember the deceased without affecting daily living. Anniversaries and important events continue to precipitate waves of sadness; the amplitude of these waves diminishes over time, although the grief may never go away entirely.

However, there are some people who will have abnormal bereavement, the risk factors for them are:

• Poor family support to the bereaved person
• Past history of psychiatric illness
• Multiple life distress
• Unanticipated death
• Death of a highly dependent relationship

Abnormal bereavement presented as complicated grief with severe depression and suicidal though.

When the above mentioned symptoms (1-4) sustained more than 6 months, we have to suspect abnormal bereavement. 

Consult your close physician to get referral for psychologist or psychiatrist to overcome this problem.

Hope the your deceased loved ones rest in peace and you may walk forward in your living.

All the best to you.